Dishes and the ER
by Sanrio-chan
Summary: Only Bella could end up in the ER from doing the dishes. Edward x Bella. One-shot.


This is my first _Twilight_ fic. It's mostly just humour, but definitely very Bella.

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'Dishes and the ER'

A _Twilight_ fanfic brought to you by Sanrio-chan.

Standard disclaimers apply.

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"Thanks for helping me with the dishes, Edward," I said while cleaning a glass from lunch.

"You're welcome, my love." Edward quickly and gently dried the plate I had previously handed him.

"Ouch!" The cup I was scrubbing broke and it clattered to the floor.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward's topaz eyes showed nothing but love and concern. I almost forgot about the bleeding. Wait...

"Blood..." I smelt the scent of rust and salt that was my blood. It was slowly oozing all over my right hand. My head started spinning as I slowly dropped myself to the floor.

"Bella," Edward started while placing a clean dish towel on my cut, "Put constant pressure on the towel to help lessen the bleeding. I'll drive you to the hospital to see Carlisle."

"O-okay," I stammered stupidly. The smell was terrible. I would probably pass out in Edward's Volvo. At least I knew we'd make it to the hospital fast.

I applied pressure to my cut as Edward instructed. I wasn't about to object to someone with two medical degrees.

He carried me out to his car and opened the passenger door to slide me in and buckle me up while my hands were occupied.

Just as soon as my door shut he was in the driver's seat starting the engine. My personal Greek God was once again whisking me off to the hospital. It was still all so surreal.

We were both silent as we sped toward out destination at over 110 m.p.h. I was too busy trying not to faint to care about traffic laws, even if Police Chief Swan was my father.

We stopped and Edward, always the gentleman, opened my door and took me to the ER.

The lady at the front desk knew us both by name, but for different reasons. "Hello Edward," she greeted. "Do you need to speak to Dr. Cullen?" She glanced over at me and took in the bloodied cloth that was once a clean dish towel. "Or does Bella need to see him?"

"Both, if you don't mind." He was slightly dazzling her. The poor lady wouldn't know what hit her.

"Of course. You know where he is."

Edward put his arm around my waist and took me through a couple of hallways until we made it to Carlisle's office. We walked through the open door while I was still on the brink of fainting.

I sat on one of the chairs while Edward explained my most recent mishap.

"I see." Carlisle took the bloodstained towel off my hand to inspect the damage. He looked up at me. "You'll need stitches."

"Um...okay." Ew. Needles and more needles.

"Edward, can you take Bella to room 203?" I knew Carlisle only spoke out loud for my benefit.

"Of course." With that Edward lifted me up and carried me to the room. I wanted to protest but he was already setting me down onto the hospital cot before I could say anything. "Bella, you look a little green."

"Needles," was the only word I could get out.

He sighed. "You're absolutely absurd. You hang around a bunch of vampires all day, but when it comes down to needles, then you're the cowardly lion."

"The vampires are the good guys. They aren't scary." Most of the time, I added silently to myself. Thankfully Edward couldn't read my mind. But even he knew there had been a few mishaps. "Needles are sharp, pointy things that go into skin. What about that doesn't inspire fear?"

Edward looked at me and then at my hand. He shook his head. "Only you would have to get stitches for doing the dishes."

I snorted. "I guess I don't know my own strength."

Edward looked like he was about to protest about something, but Carlisle came in with a cart labeled "Suturing".

Carlisle came over and put a small table on wheels on my right side for me to place my hand on. Edward went over to my left side to hold my good hand. "Bella, you might want to look at Edward while I do this." I didn't need to be told twice. I stared into Edward's topaz eyes, a sign that he marked him for what he was: a vegetarian vampire. At least the word vegetarian was in there. Then I would be a little worried about hanging out with vampires all day. The silly vampires seemed to have reason that me hanging out with werewolves was a bad idea.

I felt a needle enter half an inch from the cut, but then I couldn't feel anything except a little tugging. I looked to Edward for answers.

He read my face easily. "Carlisle put lydacaine in your hand so you won't feel any pain." I simply nodded my head. Even if I couldn't feel the pain, I could still feel the tugging motion when the needle with the thread went through my skin. The lydacaine made my hand feel really big and swollen and I couldn't move it. It was slightly uncomfortable.

After five more minutes of pulling and tugging my torture was over with. "Bella, you can look now. I'm done."

I slowly turned my head toward Carlisle and then glanced down at my hand. Five stitches near the knuckle of my index finger. It was probably going to leave a mark.

"I'm going to put bacitracin on the stitches to help lessen the scarring and wrap it up. Edward can change the dressings for you. I'll get you a bag of the things you'll need and get you on some pain medication." Carlisle gave me a reassuring smile and left me with Edward.

Twenty minutes later Edward was driving me back home with my hand neatly dressed up with a bag of pills and gauze. Carlisle put me on Ibuprophen and T3. My hand still felt numb and I could only move my fingers a little.

When Edward pulled up to my house I saw Charlie's cruiser. "Should I tell Charlie I got stitches?"

"It's probably best. He shouldn't be mad," Edward assured me.

We walked into the house and saw Charlie watching a baseball game on TV. "Hey kids," he greeted while still staring at the screen. "Where'd you go?"

"Well..." I started.

"Bella, what happened?" Charlie heard the reluctance in my voice and turned to face Edward and me.

I pulled my hand out from behind me and started explaining. "I was doing the dishes with Edward and one of the cups broke and cut my hand so we went to the hospital to see Carlisle and he gave me five stitches." I took a breath and stopped my would-be ramble.

"Bells, you really gotta be more careful," he chided. "At least it wasn't a knife."

"Edward always cleans the knives for me," I informed him.

Charlie looked surprised. "Oh. Well...thanks Edward."

Edward chuckled. "I'm just trying to keep her visits with Carlisle social instead of painful." He turned to me. "You should take the pain medications right before you go to bed tonight." He gave me a wink without Charlie noticing.

"Yes, sir!"

* * *

10 Days Later...

"Bella, I don't know how this happened but...it's infected," Carlisle informed Edward and me. I groaned. I could tell that this was going to be very painful. "Did you let the stitches get too wet?"

I thought about it a little. Edward and I had traded dishwashing tasks so I was doing the drying. I managed to not do the laundry for the last ten days. When I showered... "Maybe they got wet when I was in the shower." So this was my fault. Edward had helped me so much in the last ten days and now it was going down the drain.

"That would probably do it. Well, it's going to be painful to get the stitches out. You probably shouldn't look." Ugh. Because they'd gotten infected they got a little "stuck". It didn't look too good either. As soon as I saw Carlisle take out scissors and tweezers I looked over at Edward and grabbed his hand.

I inhaled at the pain and squeezed Edward's hand. My eyes were tightly shut as the first of five stitches was pulled out.

"It'll be okay, love. Carlisle will get the stitches out and get you on anti-biotics. Just try not to think about it too much, okay?"

I nodded my head weakly. At least there wasn't any blood. Just disgusting infection stuff. Ew.

I sat through 15 more minutes of painful pulling and tugging until all the scraps of thread were gone. I breathed a sigh of relief I didn't know I was holding.

"I'll be right back. I need to get some antibiotics." Carlisle left the room and I had the feeling he was leaving something out of his sentence. He returned a few minutes later with a needle.

"What's that?" I asked looking at the dangerous and sharp pointy object that was most likely intended to go into my skin.

"It's an antibiotic shot. It needs to go in near your...rear."

I would have protested, but this was a hospital and I had an infection. "What do I need to do?" I was exasperated.

"Just undo the button and zipper of your jeans and then lay on your side."

I did as I was told and laid down on my side. I felt the prick of the needle and it was the most painful shot I'd ever had. I didn't notice when Carlisle was done because I was concentrating on not thinking about the pain.

"Bella, he's done." Edward brought me back to reality with his crooked smile. He somehow found this funny.

"What may I ask is so funny?" I tried to glare at him but I just ended up smiling at him.

"Nothing, my love. I'm just happy that you're not in pain anymore." He leaned down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "You might want to zip your jeans up, though."

My face flushed tomato red as I quickly zipped my jeans up. As I sat on my bottom it hurt, so I laid down on my side again.

"Are you okay, Bella?"

"Yeah, my butt's just sore." Edward gave me a look of disapproval. "I'll be fine," I added.

Carlisle marched into the room with a prescription of antibiotics. "Take one in the morning and one at night until they are all gone. Don't stop taking them even if the cut looks better. It's very important that you finish the dose," he instructed.

"I'll make sure she takes them all the way to the end, Carlisle." Edward took the pills from him.

"I'm sure you will, but I have to say that anyway. I'll see you at home later," he said to Edward.

"Ready to go on antibiotics?" He winked at me.

"Do I really have a choice in the matter?" I asked hopefully.

"No."

"Then bring it on."

* * *

I just had one more day on those silly antibiotics. They had been making me sick to my stomach and I hadn't eaten much in the last week. They tasted gross too. They dissolved almost as soon as I popped them in my mouth. I really didn't want to take them anymore, but I knew I had to finish out the dose or Carlisle would be very angry at me, and so would at least one other vampire.

When I woke up on the last day of taking the pills, I felt all itchy. I rubbed my feet against my legs to make it stop. It was too early to get up just yet. Fridays are supposed to be good days…

I gave in and sat up to look at my legs. My feet and legs were covered in red dots that itched like crazy!

"Edward?" I called.

"Yes, love?" He just came in through the window after going to his house in the middle of the night.

"What are these red dot things?" I said pointing at my legs.

"That, Bella, would be you allergic to the antibiotics."

"Are you serious? This is just ridiculous! First I get cut doing the dishes. The dishes!! And it wasn't even a knife! And then the stitches get infected. Then the antibiotics turn my feet into an itching factory! What next?" I was frustrated beyond belief. What more could go wrong with a simple day doing the dishes?

"It'll be okay. You just need some Benadryl, okay? I'll be right back." He left the room at vampire speed and came back with a cup of water and two pink and white pills.

I took them graciously and after a few minutes the itching went down but I felt drowsy…

"I'll call Charlie and let him know what happened. You just sleep today, okay?"

"Okay," I said sleepily.

Edward gave me a gentle kiss before calling Charlie. I don't know what he said because I was sound asleep, dreaming of a place where all the cups were made of plastic.

* * *

So…it was a little bit weird. Most of that actually happened to me, unfortunately enough. And it was around Thanksgiving. I spent almost the entire month of November on different drugs to deal with a stupid cut from doing the stupid dishes. My dad had the nerve to ask me to do the dishes the day after I got my stitches. I did, however, go to work one hour after getting them. I'm a trooper :P


End file.
